Thursday, March 22, 2012 started out like every other day. I battled with my 8 year old to get out of bed and get dressed for school. I got showered and ready for work. Everything was the norm, until I suddenly got dizzy and broke out in a cold sweat. The apartment was not hot. It was just me. I told Paris, my 8 year old, that I didn't feel well and felt really dizzy. She told me not to drive. I shrugged off her suggestion and drove her to school anyway. Although it's only a little over a mile round trip, it was the longest mile ever to me. I was still sweating and had to roll down the window, even though it was in the 30's that morning. After I dropped her off and headed toward work, I had to pull over because I felt like I was going to black out. Why didn't I listen to my little one?
I made it home and then I began to cry, because I was very scared. I was so dizzy that I had to lie down, and I couldn't even move. I sent my boss a message letting her know I would not be able to make it in that day. Then I started to cry, because I felt so panicked. My chest began to hurt. It felt like someone was sitting on it. I was advised to call 911. The fire department was at my home before I got off of the phone with dispatch. They determined I was not suffering a heart attack, however, I was still freaked out and panicked, so I had my boyfriend take me to the emergency room. The whole way there I cried and kept apologizing for him having to leave work, which got me even more upset and caused more dizziness and pain.
I was checked in immediately, blood was drawn, I was given an EKG and X-ray and given Ativan to calm my nerves. All the tests and blood work came back fine. They could not determine the cause of my chest pain. My initial thought was that the pain meds I started taking to cope with my ovarian cyst pain were causing side effects, but I was ill for 2 days after this incident. I think that I started to get sick, and getting dizzy while driving sent me into a panic attack. I've dealt with anxiety in the past and had to take medicine, but asked to be weaned from it because I refused to be another statistic, someone that has to pop pills to be a "happy person". I've had small attacks of anxiety here and there, but it was nothing like I experienced Thursday. I think it's time to face the fact that I have this issue and may need medication to cope. Exercise is a good way to deal with it, but I can't exercise 24 hours a day. I have insurance now, so I can't use that as an excuse either. I am on the right track physically in making myself better. It's time I get better psychologically as well. I fear that if I don't, I may slip back into my old habits and gain weight again that I've worked so hard to lose.
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