Get Busy!

What motivates you to lose weight? Do you have a wedding you want to attend and want to fit into a dress size that you haven't been in since you were 13? Are you trying to do this crash diet to get to your ideal weight within 3 weeks? Is it true that after a week of  practically starving yourself you will be walking through the dress section of your favorite store with a box of Girl Scout cookies, almost in tears because you are tired of paying extra money for extra fabric? 
Why do you do this to yourself? I have known a lot of people, myself included, who have tried these "crash" diets that promise fast results only to be disappointed in the end because the weight comes back on. There has to be some effort to keep the weight off. If you have just a few pounds to lose, by all means drink that cabbage juice 3 times a day. You might be on the toilet all day, but you might just get into those jeans you used to rock like you did that mullet back in the day. 

I'd rather play it safe and make lifestyle changes. It's seem so easy-exercise, balanced meals, sleep, no stress-but it takes hard work and committed. I have stopped and started to get back on track so many times I lost count. I haven't tried crash diets. In fact, I haven't tried much at all. I did get excited there for a minute, was exercising and posting my "sweat pics" for my friends in our Facebook weight loss group, but then I lost my steam. I got depressed, stressed, tired, and just gave up. I turned to my comfort foods, and decided that I wanted to see just how wide my ass could get. Now I am seeing and feeling how much I have hurt myself. I am even more tired, stressed, and depressed because I am not doing anything to make it better. I miss the high that I got from exercise. I had less headaches, I needed less coffee, I had more pep in my step. Now to add to the emotional downfalls of not exercising my heartburn made a comeback. I haven't had regular heartburn since 2008 when I was at my highest weight of 250 pounds. When I was walking the trash up to the dumpster the other night that was the last straw. The trek to the dumpster is a small one with a tiny incline. Two years ago I walked up there with no issue. The other night I was panting like I had tried to climb Mt. Everest. I have friends that can run a 5k with no problem. I walked up a damn hill and felt like I overdid it. That is a damn shame and it's time I do something about it. 

I know, you've heard this song and dance before. I am not going to lie, I am sure there will be more stops and starts, but the point is to start, and not give up. I can't sit here and feel sorry for myself if I am not doing something about it. My dad has one leg now due to complications from his diabetes. My mom has had surgery to put stents in to help her heart. I am always afraid of losing them. I don't want my kids and boyfriend to worry about my health and worry about losing me. I can't be another statistic. I refuse. I can't continue to watch My 600 Pound Life while eating cheese fries. 

What is going to motivate me? Life. I want to live a healthier and longer life. 
I will end with a quote from one of my favorite movies, The Shawshank Redemption:
"Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'."

What's Your Excuse?

"I'm too tired."
"I don't have enough time."
"The kids need me."
"I can't afford to go to the gym."

Do any of these sound familiar to you? These are some of the common reasons (excuses) that people use to not work out. How do I know them? Because I have used every single one of those excuses and probably some more creative ones like "I don't want my boyfriend to see my wobbly bits bouncing all over the place."

Right now the excuse of the month for me is "I'm too tired." Hmm, I wonder why? Well, right now it's nearing 11 p.m. as I am typing this. I need to get up and get ready for work at 5:45. If I go to bed soon, I can get almost 7 hours of sleep. Last night I went to bed close to midnight. Today I had a fast food breakfast, fast food lunch and leftover pizza for dinner that we had last night. We were supposed to go out to dinner last night, but we were too tired. I wish we had, because between last night and tonight I polished off an entire pizza by myself. Now I feel super bloated and surprise-TIRED!
I am making myself tired. I come home, clean, cook, and spend time with my family. That doesn't make me tired. It's the crap I'm putting in my mouth and the late nights. If I were treating my body right, I could come home, work out, and still have time to make a good meal for my family and clean. Plus, I'd be tired enough after to get to bed earlier.

 Sounds so simple, doesn't it? It's because it is. I am my own obstacle. Chances are, you're getting in your own way, too. Basically, if you want something bad enough you go for it. I was looking at the Team Beachbody message boards and this member talked about how his wife, who has multiple sclerosis and is in a wheelchair had success with P90x. This made me feel ashamed. I can walk, I have no debilitating diseases, and this woman with MS completed one of the hardest workout programs out there! I am tired of getting in my own way. I'm telling you, stop getting in your own way! There is a way to fit in just a few minutes of exercise. There is a way to eat healthier, even if you are on a budget. Do your research! The next time you find yourself coming up with an excuse not to work out, think of that woman with MS. Think of all the other success stories you hear.
It's important to be honest and tell you that I started this entry 2 nights ago. Guess what? I was too tired to finish it.

I'm going to start an excuse jar, kind of like a swear jar.  Every time I find myself making an excuse to not exercise or make an excuse to eat the sundae I just had, I'll put in a quarter. Let's see if I can keep from filling it. Stay tuned!

 

I'm Baaaaack!

It has been quite some time since I last wrote.

A lot has happened. To sum it all up: I live in Missouri now, I found true love, and I found some pounds to go with it.

2013 was quite a year, and 2014 has started off quite interesting as well. My boyfriend and I just celebrated our 1 year anniversary. My dad was hospitalized for congestive heart failure. A week ago today I had a car wreck and hit a tree.

I’ve been up and down emotionally, and old habits die hard so you can guess how I’ve coped: eating. I am just 5 pounds from getting up to 200 pounds again. I am still that fat girl, who thinks about what I’m going to have for dinner, when I’ve barely finished my breakfast. My boyfriend lost 40 pounds in a 13 week period on P90x, but due to some stress and changes in his life, he has also gained weight back.

How am I going to get back to that confident, sassy, and motivational fireball again? Well, at my job we are doing our own version of The Biggest Loser. Each week we will weigh in and the person with the highest percentage of fat lost will win $12. At the end of the 10 weeks, the biggest loser will get $120. I had to put in $16 to enter the contest and I am determined to get that back and then some. I know that this week I will have a gain, because it has been a fast food free-for-all for me. Next week, however, watch out! I will start back on Focus T25, a Beach Body program started by Shawn T. I consider it to be a stepping stone to finally have a healthy lifestyle. Don’t worry. I am still bound and determined to be a Zumba instructor. Those of you that have read my blogs know I have wanted to do that for a long time.

This is the year folks. I am kicking ass and taking initials because I have no time to take names! Stay tuned!

Confessions of an Emotional Eater

I'd like to say that this blog entry is like the rest: full of inspiration and gung ho advice about weight loss and exercise, but it's not. It's about how I have totally fallen off the wagon this past week. 

I started a new job. I love it. I've met lots of new people, my trainer was great, and customers have been so patient and understanding of the newbie ringing up their groceries. Every night (except tonight) I've gone home emotionally and physically drained. I haven't had the energy to go to Zumba class, or even to cook. I did, however cook twice I think. I also went to a Body Plus Abs class, which entailed step aerobics and weights. After I left that class I remember feeling so sore, yet so accomplished. Then things just went downhill after that. 

I found myself eating McDonald's, Jack in the Box, Taco Bell, sweet and sour chicken-just a bunch of crap! Last night I was making these buffalo burgers from a recipe I got at www.skinnytaste.com. The recipe called for 100% LEAN buffalo meat and I thought that's what I had, but I had grabbed one that said it was 100% Buffalo. That meant the points value of my meal skyrocketed. I figured since I'd already blown it, I may as well eat more tortilla chips with guacamole dip, so I did. I think that even later that evening I had more. This morning I went to breakfast and had corned beef hash, stuffed hash browns, eggs and toast. Believe me, I felt SO disgusted after that meal. My tummy hurt for hours, and I felt weighed down, just like all the other meals. 

When I think back to each crappy meal I had, there was some emotion associated with each one. Take for instance, breakfast. I was frustrated at my boyfriend's son for leaving a dish full of cereal in the sink. When I had the extra chips and dip last night, I was upset I had gotten the wrong meat and figured what the hell? When I got the burger from McDonald's, I was hungry, yet I was feeling really happy about my new job. There is not always a negative emotion to trigger someone like me to eat. 

I thought I had broken this cycle. I've come to realize, however, that it's going to take more time. I'm still a rookie when it comes to having a healthier lifestyle. I really hadn't beaten myself up about all of this until today. I wasn't calling myself names, but I was telling myself I know better! My tummy has been aching a bit all day. That's punishment enough. No need for me to add the negative self talk.

How am I going to get out of this funk? Well, I just have to keep reminding myself why I started this journey-I want to live a longer, healthier life. I've come so far and I can't blow it. I have to start tracking my meals again and STOP making excuses. 

It's time to stop messing around, and kick ass and take initials because I have no time to take names!