Almost 20% Off! No, Not a Great Sale-20% off of ME!

Last week wasn't so great for me. I was bloated, got food poisoning, and was stressed to the max.
I had some good and bad days as far as the eating goes. I did not track my food or activity, yet somehow managed to lose 4.6 pounds. I'm happy, yet I'm a little ticked at myself for not staying on plan and tracking everything. I was doing a lot of estimating in my head as far as how many points I was consuming. I think the weight loss is lucky, to be honest. 

Today I just realized 2 things. I am just a half pound away from a 40 pound weight loss and I am 5.2 pounds away from having lost 20% of my starting weight. A goal of mine is to get certified to become a Zumba instructor once I've lost 20%. I'm excited. It may take some time to get certified, because the classes cost money and they fill up quickly. There are 2 classes available in September. One is September 8th and still has space, but I won't have the $225 in time. The other class is September 22nd and is already sold out. I hope that more open up very soon! 

I admit that I've slacked off quite a bit, but today when I realized I'm so close to another milestone I had a talk with myself, and said that all that slacking off, mindless snacking, and laziness ends today! I'm going to plan out my week, which will include exercise and meals. I should have been at 20% long ago. However, I'm still a happy girl. I have more energy, I can wear smaller clothes, and I have more confidence as I've mentioned in other blogs. 

I'm off to do a walk now. It's kind of warm out there but I am NOT letting that get in my way. I've let too many things get in the way of my success. Mainly myself! Not today and not ever again. I DO deserve the very best and damn it I'm going to get it!

Long and Overdue Date

I normally write about my weight loss journey, but today I had the most amazing 2 hours in a long time and had to share. No, it was not amazing sex that I feel compelled to write about. It's about having lunch with a friend I hadn't seen in about 15 years. 


When I was getting ready for my lunch date with her this morning I felt like I was getting ready for a blind date. I was wondering, "Will she still like me?" "Will there be awkward pauses in the conversation?" "Will she still be nice?" Even on the way to meet her I sent her a text message (not while I was driving) to tell her how nervous I was. We were going to meet outside of the restaurant but I saw her in the parking garage, and ran after her. After she realized she wasn't being attacked, we hugged. It was a great hug. It wasn't a forced, half, pat on the back hug either. It was a real hug. 


When we sat down and were given our menus, the conversation started and never stopped. The poor waitress had to come by a few times before we were actually ready to order. There had been many years since we'd last seen each other, but we talked and talked as if there hadn't been that 15 year gap. When I first met her in 1994, we went to Denny's after work. I told her my life story. We talked for hours. I felt like I could tell her anything, and today I felt the same way. Perhaps over the last 15 years we've both changed, but what didn't change was that sense that I can trust this woman with my life. 


As we said goodbye we hugged again and I probably hugged a little harder this time. When I was driving home I started to cry. There were some silly things that kept us apart all of these years and I don't even remember all of it. All I know is that I don't want to lose her friendship again. I told her that I was sorry we missed out on all of these years. And just like always, she knew what to say to make me feel better. She said, "We have plenty more, ok?" 

Non Scale Victories-Pictures, too!

I haven't posted in a bit because I've been busy, and unfortunately have had some stressful days and the scale reflected just how much I've been stressing. I fell back into bad habits, making food my friend. However, I've snapped out of that for the most part, and I've been trying hard to get back on track.


I've had some things to celebrate. I am able to wear misses size clothes. I discovered this a few weeks ago when I went shopping with my friend. She was pushing me away from the plus size section. I found some jeans in a size 16 misses that were a great price. I tried them on and was skeptical. To me, my thighs looked kind of big. I think it was that self talk I've been so used to all this time. I had to step out of the fitting room and look in the larger mirror outside the door. One of the fitting room attendants stopped and exclaimed, "Those look REALLY good on you. I wouldn't just say that, either. Really good!" I took another look at myself and then explained to her that I've been in plus sized clothes for so long and it was hard to believe I could fit into these jeans. Then I started to cry. They were happy tears, of course.
Another thing to celebrate is my shrinking bra size. I'm now a 38DD. If I wanted I could go to Victoria's Secret and get bras. Oh, and I had to add holes to my belt! So, when the scale is not moving in the direction I want it to go, I have to remind myself that I am making progress. The scale is not the only thing to determine my success! 


The biggest non scale victory for me is hearing my 8 year old tell me I look skinnier. You know how kids are. They are painfully honest. She's never hesitated to tell me if I look big. She always tells me now that I look pretty. If I start to say I look fat in something, she stops me. If I eat something that isn't the best for me, she reminds me that I may exceed my daily points plus values. There are times that I am horrified and embarrassed by the things she says, but these days if it means helping me stay on track, I'm forgiving. 


Take a look at the pics below. These are me in my MISSES jeans. 

The Next Time You Eat That Donut...

It's been awhile. I'd like to say that I've been too successful in my weight loss to write, but that's not the case. The fact is, I'm tired. I'm working full time, I'm on my feet a lot, and when I get home, I eat and rest. Therefore, I'm still losing, but it's at a very slow pace, because I'm not trying hard to make it happen. Until today I had stopped tracking, stopped exercising and wasn't getting enough sleep.


That all changed today at the weekly weigh in. I lost .6. So if the scale measures in tenths, that's 3/5 of a pound. I can do so much better than this. I was happy to have a lost, considering what I've eaten lately, but it was admitting that I ate donuts that made me realize I've really fallen off the wagon lately. When I confessed I ate them, I may not have shown it, but I was ashamed. At the time I ate the donuts, I was back to the old Tamara. I didn't just have one, I looked around, made sure no one was coming and grabbed a second one. By the way, these were provided courtesy of my work. That first donut went down too quickly. It was soft, gooey, and perfect. I didn't even bother to calculate the points on these donuts until now.  One medium size glazed donut is 7 pp. Remember I had two of them. That's 14. I get 26 daily points. I ate over half my daily allowance. What's even more disturbing is the nutritional breakdown. I did some Googling and according to one site I found one donut has 255 whopping calories and 12 grams of fat among other things. Eek!

I had the nerve to scoff at the person who had only taken half of a donut. Me! What am I, some expert just because I've lost 33.6 pounds? Absolutely not! Today's meeting was about questioning if the points in something you want is worth it. If I had actually taken the time to look up this info before I consumed TWO donuts, I honestly think I would have allowed myself half of one. I love donuts. It only takes a few bites to satisfy whatever craving it is I have. I wish I could explain what came over me. Maybe the fact that they were free gave me that excuse. I haven't purchased any, so that tells you right there that I didn't want them bad enough. 


A coworker of mine recently told me that she's using me as a motivator to help achieve her weight loss goals. The girl is going to gym for 3-4 hours at a time! She's eating better. It's already showing. There is no freaking way that I'm going to be an inspiration to anyone if I'm sitting back popping donuts like they're crack. It's time to light that fire under my butt again. Anyone have a match?

Feeling Effects of NOT Being Active (Plus Weight Loss Progression Photos)

I've been working very hard. I worked at H&R Block this past tax season where I was mostly on my feet as I was a receptionist, but there was a chair where I could sit, too. At my current job, there is no chair in which to sit. I'm a cashier, and I am constantly moving, reaching, bending, talking, etc. I'm very exhausted at the end of my shift, and most nights when I come home I don't get to sit down right away unless I use the toilet, lol. I have an 8 year old that needs my attention, there is cooking to do, and maybe some cleaning as well. After that's all done, and I've gotten my child to bed, I play on the internet for awhile and go to bed-late. I get maybe 6 hours of sleep, wake up a few minutes later than I intended, so I'm rushing to get myself ready for work and my child ready for school. 


Now I'm sick. I have a nasty cold with some chest and nasal congestion, sinus headache and a cough. I feel miserable, yet the show must go on. I HAVE to go to work, because I don't get paid time off yet. This is the 3rd time in the last month I've gotten sick. I've had tummy issues twice, and now this. I think I know why-lack of exercise. 


Sure, there is repetitious movement in my job, but it's not enough to get my heart rate going. I need Zumba, step aerobics or kick boxing. So the question is, when can I fit that in my busy schedule? The answer is in the morning. Many years ago I worked out in the morning before having to be at work at 4 am! I remember feeling so energetic, and the need for coffee was not there. I was able to push through my day and was able to fall asleep easily at night. There is no reason-absolutely none-that I can't get myself up in the morning and do some kind of activity for at least 30 minutes. Exercise has many benefits, the obvious being weight loss, but it releases endorphins which make you feel really good, kind of like chocolate does. :-) Another benefit is it makes your immune system stronger. You can fight off those infections more easily, or if you do get sick you're not down and out as long as most. I've found this to be true for me personally. When I exercise on a regular basis, I'm less stressed, sleep better, I don't get sick often, and in general feel happier.


Tomorrow I start my activity commitment. I am committing to at least 5 days a week of activity, whether it be Zumba, kickboxing, walking, or even skating. I have to do at least 30 minutes when I exercise, and would like to build up to an hour. I'd like to fit that in before I work. If I'm off work, I want to work out in the morning, and then again in the afternoon and evening. Ideally I could continue to lose weight on Weight Watchers without exercise if I follow the program to the letter, but for maximum results, and for my health I want to exercise. 


Below you can see how almost 33 pounds off of my body looks. Notice how my posture improved. I'm standing up straighter. A few people have said I look taller. Is it the heels? Is it the fact that I'm up close, or is it the fact that I have more confidence now? Do you think there's just a little sass in there too? You're damn right there is! 

All Aboard the Weight Loss Train!

Well, I'm happy to report that I am almost 11 pounds away from my next big goal. When I lose those 11 pounds I'll have lost 20% of my starting weight. I've lost 33.4 pounds so far! I'm not only under 200 pounds, but I'm under 190 pounds. I have not been under 190 since 1994. I still have a long way to go, however. 

I'm excited that some family members and friends have joined Weight Watchers! My oldest daughter joined, so did my cousin, his wife, 2 friends, and now another is considering it. Another good friend of mine is doing her own thing. She's even trying to step out of her comfort zone and get outdoors more and to the gym. She has agoraphobia, so it's rare that she goes out in public. She recently went out without her husband, which was a big accomplishment. I'm very proud of her! She's not only trying to change her lifestyle, she's trying to overcome her fears. I'm not sure if her recent weight loss has been an inspiration, but no matter what, it's good to see her doing so well. 

That same friend suggested I start my own weight loss group on Facebook. That's what I did! There are a few of us that share our ideas, concerns, vent, and we share recipes, too. Most of all we do what we can to motivate each other and keep things positive. I'm starting to feel like I could really be a role model. This group has helped me realize that I'm capable of being a good leader if I push my doubts and fears aside. People are actually willing to listen to me. It feels good to be heard! 

I'm 4'11". I'm what you call "vertically challenged". I want it to be known though, that since I've lost this weight, I've gained so much confidence, support and love. With all that, I feel like the tallest woman in the world. 

I love Myself!

No, I'm not full of myself or conceited. I really love myself. It took some time for me to feel this way. I've looked at myself for years and thought that I have a pretty face, BUT I'm fat. I have a pretty face, BUT I have a big butt, etc. Today, there are no BUTS! I still have a butt, though, lol!! Seriously though, even if I'm still a work in progress, I can look at myself and like and accept what I see. I have pretty eyes, a nice smile, and my body is starting to show my natural curves that have been hidden under fat. I like taking pictures of myself, because I like what I'm seeing these days. I have many pounds to go before I reach my weight loss goal, however, if I didn't have the confidence I do now I wouldn't be losing weight. Negativity gets me nowhere. Saying I'm a fat slob just provides the opposite results and sends me diving into the refrigerator for comfort food. I've had to tell myself that I AM a beautiful person that is worthy of love and who can accomplish anything and that positive self talk is working. 

I encourage anyone who needs to lose some weight to think about the reasons you want to lose the weight. Is it because someone else (besides a doctor) is telling you to lose weight? Is someone telling you that you're ugly, fat, etc? Do you see other women or men and compare yourself to them? Make sure you're doing it for the right reasons. Do it for you and your health. Do it because you want live a longer healthier life. If someone in your life is being a negative influence, maybe they don't deserve to be around you. Consider dropping those negative people and I bet the pounds will come off faster. 

Celebrate each success. When you lose that first 5 pounds do something for yourself that's not related to food. Get a pedicure, buy a top, or something else you've had your eye on. Most importantly, LOVE YOURSELF! Don't beat yourself up. Be good to both your body and spirit.