I think I can speak for my friends when I say that it feels good to have a new pair of panties, especially when they match your bra. I see ads for cute bra and panty sets all the time, and the models are always built just right, and they're smiling seductively and they know they look good. Let's face it, if I put on a cute set, I don't look even close to the model on the tags or in the ads I see. I wish I could tell you that I can look at myself and be proud, but I see all the lumps and bumps and I hate it. I got my myself in this position, and if you read my last blog, you know that I am trying to change that.
I know that I should love myself the way I look, but let's get real-I have too much on my body to love, too much that could potentially be life threatening. I admit, I have some vanity. I know that I am pretty, but I'd like the body to look as good as the face. I want to go to Victoria Secret with confidence, knowing I can find a sexy bra and panty set that will fit me. I want to be able to get ready for work in the morning in just my bra and panties without feeling self conscious about all the extra flesh hanging out and about. I want to feel like I can get on a pole and look sexy instead of silly. Wait, did I really just say I want to pole dance? Ok, back to the point. I know my man loves me, wobbily bits and all, so my wanting to get healthier has nothing to do with how he feels about me. I know that there are plenty of men out there who appreciate voluptuous ladies like me. I know they feel like they need "something to hold on to", but I see nothing wrong with having a little less to hold.
Speaking of less, let's go back to panties. I know that there are sexy underwear for people in my size, but it usually means I have to go to Lane Bryant, Fredericks of Hollywood, or a major department store, and thanks to my extra weight, the panties cost extra money. I was at Walmart last night and was checking out all the underwear choices and I saw all the cutesy boy shorts, thongs, low rise panties, etc. When I got to my size, I swear it was mostly larger "you aren't getting any" panties. It was a little ,depressing. With a heavy heart I have to confess I had to go with the "you aren't getting any" briefs. However, I have to admit, they are pretty comfy. They will have to do for now.
I may not love my body for how it is, but I do love me. And because I love myself I will do what I can to get healthier and into smaller panties of course. Hopefully thongs will still be in style when I reach my goal. :-)
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