Friday, May 11, 2012

Confessions of an Emotional Eater

I'd like to say that this blog entry is like the rest: full of inspiration and gung ho advice about weight loss and exercise, but it's not. It's about how I have totally fallen off the wagon this past week. 

I started a new job. I love it. I've met lots of new people, my trainer was great, and customers have been so patient and understanding of the newbie ringing up their groceries. Every night (except tonight) I've gone home emotionally and physically drained. I haven't had the energy to go to Zumba class, or even to cook. I did, however cook twice I think. I also went to a Body Plus Abs class, which entailed step aerobics and weights. After I left that class I remember feeling so sore, yet so accomplished. Then things just went downhill after that. 

I found myself eating McDonald's, Jack in the Box, Taco Bell, sweet and sour chicken-just a bunch of crap! Last night I was making these buffalo burgers from a recipe I got at www.skinnytaste.com. The recipe called for 100% LEAN buffalo meat and I thought that's what I had, but I had grabbed one that said it was 100% Buffalo. That meant the points value of my meal skyrocketed. I figured since I'd already blown it, I may as well eat more tortilla chips with guacamole dip, so I did. I think that even later that evening I had more. This morning I went to breakfast and had corned beef hash, stuffed hash browns, eggs and toast. Believe me, I felt SO disgusted after that meal. My tummy hurt for hours, and I felt weighed down, just like all the other meals. 


When I think back to each crappy meal I had, there was some emotion associated with each one. Take for instance, breakfast. I was frustrated at my boyfriend's son for leaving a dish full of cereal in the sink. When I had the extra chips and dip last night, I was upset I had gotten the wrong meat and figured what the hell? When I got the burger from McDonald's, I was hungry, yet I was feeling really happy about my new job. There is not always a negative emotion to trigger someone like me to eat. 

I thought I had broken this cycle. I've come to realize, however, that it's going to take more time. I'm still a rookie when it comes to having a healthier lifestyle. I really hadn't beaten myself up about all of this until today. I wasn't calling myself names, but I was telling myself I know better! My tummy has been aching a bit all day. That's punishment enough. No need for me to add the negative self talk.

How am I going to get out of this funk? Well, I just have to keep reminding myself why I started this journey-I want to live a longer, healthier life. I've come so far and I can't blow it. I have to start tracking my meals again and STOP making excuses. 

It's time to stop messing around, and kick ass and take initials because I have no time to take names!


5 comments:

  1. Strongest finish to a blog entry!! You have this, Tamara. No quarter given. I am so proud to be your friend!

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  2. Thanks, Dave and the feeling is mutual!

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  3. Your blog was shared on our WW Group FB page and I have to say I am enjoying reading your journey! Where are you working at? I work for Fred Meyer and am a cashier/front desk/self checkout person (whatever they need). It is SO hard to work in the grocery store and not be tempted by food. I have learned to keep a healthy meal in the car (have you seen the SALAD IN A JAR concept? LOVE THEM!!!!! Ice chest with freezer packs make a huge difference!). Also, on breaks - a cheese stick is 2 points and is a much better choice than a candy bar (it's usually farther away so you get some extra steps in before you park yourself). With a doctors note (which is easy to get...) you can have a water bottle which helps keep you from over snacking and making bad choices. I work opposite shift of my husband so usually evening and weekends (we have two small children so it cuts down on childcare cost).
    Congratulations on your journey and I am excited to see your success unfold! :-)

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  4. Hey, Me! I also work at Fred Meyer! I started at the new store in Maple Valley, WA. I'm a cashier and work customer service also. We are allowed to have water so no doctor's note is needed. What is the salad in a jar thing? I'll have to look that up!
    Thanks for reading my blog. I really appreciate the feedback and suggestions!

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  5. Oh good gravy! Your store took our Stephanie! I know so many people at your store (Mary at the desk, Anthony and a few others that helped you guys open!). Totally strange how our worlds are so connected. My first name is Becky. Salad in a jar: take a quart canning jar, put in 2 tbs of balsamic vinegarette dressing (first weeks I made my own, then just bought Newman's Own - way easier). Then layer in the veggies making sure the lettuce is on top and doesn't touch the dressing. I usually put in 1.5 ounces of cooked chicken breast for protein. It's 4 points and I have ate it many times for lunch (shake/turn upside down before opening to get dressing everywhere.

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