Confessions of an Emotional Eater

I'd like to say that this blog entry is like the rest: full of inspiration and gung ho advice about weight loss and exercise, but it's not. It's about how I have totally fallen off the wagon this past week. 

I started a new job. I love it. I've met lots of new people, my trainer was great, and customers have been so patient and understanding of the newbie ringing up their groceries. Every night (except tonight) I've gone home emotionally and physically drained. I haven't had the energy to go to Zumba class, or even to cook. I did, however cook twice I think. I also went to a Body Plus Abs class, which entailed step aerobics and weights. After I left that class I remember feeling so sore, yet so accomplished. Then things just went downhill after that. 

I found myself eating McDonald's, Jack in the Box, Taco Bell, sweet and sour chicken-just a bunch of crap! Last night I was making these buffalo burgers from a recipe I got at www.skinnytaste.com. The recipe called for 100% LEAN buffalo meat and I thought that's what I had, but I had grabbed one that said it was 100% Buffalo. That meant the points value of my meal skyrocketed. I figured since I'd already blown it, I may as well eat more tortilla chips with guacamole dip, so I did. I think that even later that evening I had more. This morning I went to breakfast and had corned beef hash, stuffed hash browns, eggs and toast. Believe me, I felt SO disgusted after that meal. My tummy hurt for hours, and I felt weighed down, just like all the other meals. 

When I think back to each crappy meal I had, there was some emotion associated with each one. Take for instance, breakfast. I was frustrated at my boyfriend's son for leaving a dish full of cereal in the sink. When I had the extra chips and dip last night, I was upset I had gotten the wrong meat and figured what the hell? When I got the burger from McDonald's, I was hungry, yet I was feeling really happy about my new job. There is not always a negative emotion to trigger someone like me to eat. 

I thought I had broken this cycle. I've come to realize, however, that it's going to take more time. I'm still a rookie when it comes to having a healthier lifestyle. I really hadn't beaten myself up about all of this until today. I wasn't calling myself names, but I was telling myself I know better! My tummy has been aching a bit all day. That's punishment enough. No need for me to add the negative self talk.

How am I going to get out of this funk? Well, I just have to keep reminding myself why I started this journey-I want to live a longer, healthier life. I've come so far and I can't blow it. I have to start tracking my meals again and STOP making excuses. 

It's time to stop messing around, and kick ass and take initials because I have no time to take names!